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Modern Wedding Vows: 27 Examples & Templates

If the old script never sounded like you, good. Modern vows trade 'to have and to hold' for how you actually talk: honest, personal, a little funny.

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Modern vows

Full vows written the way a real couple might actually say them, personal, conversational, and contemporary. Read them as they are, or borrow the shape and make it yours.

“

Good news, dumb news, and news after her coffee

Maya, I'm not going to pretend I have the perfect words, because you already know I never do. So here's the honest version. You're the person I want to tell everything to: the good news, the dumb news, and the news that can wait until you've had your coffee. I promise to keep making you laugh, especially when you're trying hard to stay annoyed at me. I promise to be on your team, even when we disagree, and to be the calm when you need calm and the noise when you need noise. I don't know exactly what the next fifty years look like, but I know I want to spend every one of them figuring it out with you. That's the whole vow. It's you.

Down-to-earthShort
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“

Store-bought soup, six hours, and one big decision

Daniel, the day I knew was not romantic at all. I was sick, the kind of sick where you look terrible and feel worse, and you showed up with soup you clearly bought and pretended to make, and you just sat with me and watched bad TV for six hours. No fixing, no fuss, you just stayed. That's when I understood what I actually wanted for the rest of my life, and it was that. So today I'm promising you the ordinary things, because those are the ones that count. I promise to show up, especially on the hard days. I promise to argue kindly and forgive quickly, to celebrate your wins louder than my own, and to keep choosing you on the ordinary Tuesdays, not just the big occasions. I promise to build a home with you where we both feel completely ourselves. You are my favorite person and my best decision, and I can't wait to be a little bit boring and a lot happy with you for a very long time.

HeartfeltMedium
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“

Rain, bad coffee, and a love worth exaggerating

Sofia, when people ask how we met, we always tell it differently, and I've decided I love that about us. You remember the rain, I remember the terrible coffee, and we both remember laughing so hard we forgot to be nervous. That's basically who we've been ever since: two people turning an ordinary day into a better story than it had any right to be. So here is what I'm promising you, in plain words, because you deserve plain words and not a performance. I promise to stay curious about you, to never assume I already know everything about the person you're still becoming. I promise to fight fair, to say sorry first when I can, and to never let a bad night turn into a bad week. I promise to make room for your dreams even when they're inconvenient for mine, and to be the loudest person in every room cheering you on. I promise the small things too, because I've learned those are the real ones. I'll bring you the good pillow. I'll pretend your jokes are funny, which, to be fair, they usually are. I'll be steady when you can't be, and I'll let you be steady for me, because I'm finally learning how to let someone. Whatever these years bring, the easy and the hard and the completely unexpected, I want to meet all of it next to you. You are my home and my favorite adventure, and I choose you today, tomorrow, and every ordinary, extraordinary day after that.

PoeticLong
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“

The person I tell first

Leo, you're the one I want to tell first. Every time. Good news, bad news, the thing that happened on the train that no one else would find funny. That's how I knew, honestly. Not a big moment, just the reflex of reaching for my phone and it always being your name. So here's what I'm promising: I'll keep telling you first. I'll keep asking what you think, even when I've already decided. I'll be honest with you when it's easier not to be, and I'll stay on your side of the room when things get hard. You're my favorite person and my first phone call, and I'd like that to be permanent.

Down-to-earthShort
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“

Nothing dramatic, just certain

Nina, I didn't fall for you in one big cinematic moment. It was slower and much better than that. It was the hundredth ordinary evening in a row where I looked up and thought, this is it, this is the good part, and nobody's filming it. That's when I understood what I actually wanted, and it wasn't dramatic at all. It was you, at the kitchen table, telling me about your day. So I'm promising you the unglamorous things, because those turned out to be the real ones. I promise to listen properly, not just wait for my turn. I promise to be kind on the days you're hard to be kind to, and to let you be that for me. I promise to keep making the ordinary evenings good, because that's where our whole life is actually going to happen. I love you plainly and completely, and I intend to keep doing it for a very long time.

RomanticMedium
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“

You made me braver

Theo, before you, I made myself smaller so nothing could go wrong. You never asked me to do that. You just kept believing I was bigger than I thought, quietly and without making a thing of it, until I started believing it too. I'm braver because of you, and I don't say that lightly. So today I promise to be that for you. To back you when it's inconvenient, to tell you the truth kindly, and to build a life where neither of us has to shrink. Thank you for seeing me first. I'm yours.

HeartfeltShort
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“

An ordinary Tuesday, on purpose

Amara, people talk about marriage like it's one enormous day. I think it's actually a lot of small ones, stacked up carefully over a long time. A Tuesday where somebody remembers the milk. A Sunday where nobody says anything for an hour and it's completely fine. A bad week where one of us carries the other without keeping score. So that's what I'm promising you: the small ones, on purpose. I promise to notice you, not just love you from habit. I promise to argue about the thing we're actually upset about. I promise to make you laugh on the days that don't deserve it, and to be steady on the days that scare us both. I'm not promising you perfect. I'm promising you present, attentive, and here, for all the ordinary Tuesdays we're lucky enough to get.

PoeticMedium
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“

Everything I know about you

Jonas, here's what I know. You cry at commercials and pretend it's allergies. You call your mum every Sunday without ever being reminded. You're the person who notices when someone at a party has gone quiet, and you go and stand next to them. You are, without trying to be, one of the kindest people I have ever met. I've spent years collecting this list, and it's the closest thing I have to a reason. Not one grand moment, just an enormous pile of evidence that you're good, and that being near you makes me better. So here's what I'll do with it. I promise to keep paying attention, because you deserve to be known and not just loved from a distance. I promise to say the appreciative thing out loud instead of assuming you can tell. I promise to fight fair, apologize first when I can manage it, and never let a bad night become a bad month. I promise to take your dreams as seriously as my own, even the impractical ones, especially the impractical ones. And on the days when life gets heavy, and it will, I promise to still be here, still choosing this, still adding to the list. You're my favorite person and my best decision, and I plan to spend the rest of my life proving I meant it.

Down-to-earthLong
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“

Still you, every time

Iris, given every possible version of my life, I keep arriving at the same answer, and the answer is you. Not because it's easy, and not because we're the same, but because being loved by you made me want to be worth it. So I'm choosing you out loud, in front of everyone, on purpose. Today, tomorrow, and every unremarkable morning in between. You are my favorite thing about my life.

RomanticShort
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“

The whole unedited version

Ruth, I want to say this plainly, because you've never once needed me to perform for you. That's the first thing I love about you, actually. With you I've never had to be the polished version. You got the whole unedited draft, and you stayed anyway. We've had a real few years. We've had the kind of months that don't make it into anyone's highlight reel: the hospital corridor, the job that fell through, the stretch where we were both so tired we forgot to be nice to each other. And what I noticed, every single time, is that you didn't leave and you didn't keep score. You just moved closer. So these are my promises, and I've thought hard about whether I can keep them. I promise to move closer too, especially when it would be easier to go quiet. I promise to tell you when something's wrong instead of making you guess. I promise to protect the ordinary parts of our life, the coffee, the walks, the stupid running jokes, because that's the actual substance of it. I promise to keep learning you, because you're not the same person you were when we met, and neither am I, and I want to keep choosing every new version on purpose. I'm not going to promise you a life without hard things. I'm promising you that you won't face any of them by yourself. That's the whole vow, and I mean every word of it.

HeartfeltLong
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“

Partners, in the boring sense too

Omar, I want to be your partner in the romantic sense and also in the extremely boring sense. The paperwork sense. The who's-calling-the-landlord sense. I think that's what people miss about this: the love part is easy to say, and the logistics part is where you actually find out who someone is. You've been good at both from the start. You show up early. You do the thing you said you'd do. You've never once made me chase you for basic reliability, and honestly, that's romantic. So I promise to be that back. I'll carry my half, and yours when you can't. I'll be honest early instead of resentful later. I'll keep choosing you when it's fun and when it's admin, and I'll still find you funny in thirty years. Let's go build the whole thing.

Down-to-earthMedium
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“

The good kind of ordinary

Hana, I used to think love was supposed to feel like weather, sudden and impressive and slightly dangerous. With you it feels like ground. Steady, unglamorous, and holding. I didn't know that was the better thing until I had it. So I promise to keep being ground for you: reliable when it counts, gentle when it's hard, and here, every ordinary day, for as long as I get.

PoeticShort
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“

Use as my template

Modern with humor

Proof that funny and heartfelt aren't opposites. Each of these earns a laugh, then lands something true.

“

The car's fault, the dog's thoughts, his heart

Noah, I had a whole speech prepared, and then I remembered you'd tease me about it for the rest of our lives, so I'm keeping it real instead. I love that you narrate the dog's inner thoughts. I love that you can't parallel park but insist it's the car's fault. I love that you text me the second you get home so I don't worry, even though you'll deny that you do it. Under all the jokes, here's the true part: you make my life bigger and softer and a lot more fun, and I'd be lucky to spend every single day of it with you. So I promise to laugh with you, to steal your fries, to be your person through all of it, and to only occasionally remind you that I was right. I love you, weird sense of humor and all.

Playful
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“

One drink, two hours walking, zero arguments won

Ava, our first date was supposed to be one drink, and it turned into closing down the bar, missing the last train, and walking two hours home arguing about the best pizza topping. I lost that argument. I've lost most of them since, and honestly I've never been happier to be wrong. So here's my promise: I'll keep showing up, keep making you laugh, and keep letting you win the important ones, which, let's be honest, is all of them. I promise the big things too, to be loyal and patient and yours through whatever comes. But mostly I promise that life with me will never be boring, and that I'll love you exactly as you are, forever, extra toppings and all.

Warm & funny
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“

Pity laughs, stolen blankets, and one bold promise

Ben, I promise not to make this too weird, which, given our history, is already a bold promise. You're the only person who laughs at my jokes before I finish them, mostly out of pity, and I decided a long time ago to marry you for it. You let me steal the blanket. You pretend not to notice when I finish your snacks. You've seen me sick, stressed, and hangry in an airport, and you stayed anyway, which shows questionable judgment and excellent character. So here's the honest part, underneath all of it: you make ordinary life feel like the good kind of adventure, and I want to keep having it with you. I promise to be your teammate, your safe place, and your favorite person to annoy, for the rest of our lives.

Honest & funny
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“

The terms and conditions

Felix, I've prepared some terms and conditions. By marrying me today, you accept the following: that I will never once put the lid back on anything, that I will narrate films you are actively watching, and that I will continue to insist I'm not lost for a minimum of twenty minutes. In exchange, you get someone who will always take the seat facing the door because you hate it, who will lie convincingly about your haircut, and who thinks you are, genuinely, the funniest person in any room. Underneath the fine print, here's the real clause: I love you, I'm proud of you, and I'm in this for the whole ridiculous thing. No refunds.

Playful
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“

Against my better judgment

Dahlia, I want everyone to know I'm doing this fully informed. I have seen you assemble furniture. I have been in the car when you said the exit was "probably fine." I have watched you eat a yogurt at 11pm and then discuss it at length. I'm marrying you anyway, and not against my better judgment, but because of it. You are the best thing in my life by an enormous margin. You make our flat feel like somewhere I want to be, and you make me laugh so hard I lose my voice roughly once a week. So I promise to keep the good snacks stocked, to always let you tell the story even when I was there, and to love you exactly as you are, chaotic furniture assembly included.

Warm & funny
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“

A short list of grievances

Miriam, I'd like to begin with a short list of grievances, all of which I'm choosing to overlook forever. You steal my hoodies and then deny ownership to my face. You have never once been ready at the time you said. You get emotionally invested in reality shows about people buying houses. And here's the problem: I don't actually want any of it to change. Because you're also the person who noticed I was struggling before I did, who drove four hours without being asked, and who makes every single day better just by being in it. So I promise to keep complaining about the hoodies, and to keep choosing you, loudly and gratefully, for the rest of my life.

Honest & funny
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“

The dog agrees with me

Silas, I asked the dog for her opinion on this and she was very supportive, so I'm proceeding. In fairness, she's biased. You're the one who lets her on the sofa, which we agreed about, in writing, and which you ignored within a week. That's a good summary of you, actually: you say yes to the people you love, immediately and completely, even when it's inconvenient. You've been doing it to me for years. So I promise to be that easy for you. To say yes to the road trips and the bad ideas and the 6am starts. To let you have the last word, occasionally. And to spend the rest of my life on the sofa, with you, and the dog, who was right all along.

Playful
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“

I lost the argument, happily

Rosa, on our first date I told you I didn't believe in soulmates. You said, calmly, that I'd come around. I want it noted publicly that you were right, and that this is the last time I'll admit it. You've been right about most things since: the flat, the job I was scared to take, the friend I should have stopped calling. So here's my vow, and it's a practical one. I promise to keep asking your opinion, because it's better than mine. I promise to argue with you anyway, because it's fun. And I promise to love you completely, for the rest of my life, having been thoroughly and permanently proven wrong.

Warm & funny
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“

No notes, honestly

Caleb, everyone said writing vows would be hard, and it was, because my first three drafts were just insults. Affectionate ones. But still. The problem is that the things I love about you and the things that drive me insane are, on inspection, the exact same list. You're relentlessly optimistic, which is exhausting at 7am and life-saving at 7pm. You talk to strangers everywhere we go, which has doubled the length of every trip and also given us most of our best stories. So: no notes, honestly. I wouldn't edit you. I promise to keep you exactly as you are, to keep laughing at you and with you, and to be yours for good.

Honest & funny
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“

Use as my template

Short & modern

Under a minute, still completely yours. For couples who'd rather say one true thing well than fill the silence, and for anyone who knows they'll cry if it runs long.

“

The short version

Elias, I had a long version of this, and then I realized the long version was just this sentence, repeated: you make my life better, and I want to be there for all of yours. So I'll keep it short. I promise to be honest with you, to be kind on the hard days, and to keep choosing this on purpose. You're it. That's the whole speech.

Down-to-earthShort
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“

Three promises, that's it

Tessa, three promises. I'll tell you the truth, even the awkward parts. I'll stay when it's hard, especially when it's hard. And I'll make you laugh on purpose, every single day, for the rest of our lives. Everything else I could say is just a longer way of saying those three. I love you. Let's go.

PlayfulShort
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“

My person

Ada, you're my person. That's not a small word for me, it's the biggest one I've got. It means I'm on your side before I know the details. It means home is wherever you're already sitting. I promise to keep being that for you, steadily and without conditions, for as long as I get. You're my person. You always will be.

HeartfeltShort
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“

Nothing fancy

Gabriel, I'm not going to dress this up, because you'd see straight through it anyway. Here it is plainly: I like who I am with you. I trust you completely. I want the ordinary life, the small kitchen, the shared calendar, all of it, with you specifically. So that's my vow. Nothing fancy, and every word true.

Down-to-earthShort
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“

Still, and again

Wren, out of every possible life, this is the one I keep picking. Still, and again, and today out loud in front of everyone. I promise to keep picking it on the unremarkable mornings, not just the ones with flowers. You are my favorite decision, and I intend to keep making it.

RomanticShort
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“

The whole point

Kai, everyone keeps asking what I'm going to say. This is it: I'd rather be bored with you than entertained by anyone else. That's the whole point, I think. So I promise you the boring parts, gladly. The Sunday errands, the quiet evenings, the decades. All of it, with you.

PoeticShort
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“

Use as my template

More ways to say it

Traditional12 examplesRomantic51 examplesFunny56 examples

Want modern vows in your own words?

The Vows Writer keeps the modern style and weaves in your story. Free.

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Tips for modern vows

Before you write
  • Write the way you actually talk. Read a draft out loud and cut any line that sounds borrowed or makes you cringe.
  • Lead with one specific, only-you detail. The small stuff (the soup, the bad parallel parking) lands harder than grand statements.
  • Humor and heart aren't opposites. Earn a laugh, then land one honest line right after it.
  • Modern isn't anti-tradition. Keep a familiar promise or two if you like, just say them in your own words.
Want to write your own from scratch? Step-by-step guide
Questions

Common questions

What are modern wedding vows?

Modern wedding vows are personal, contemporary vows written in your own words rather than a fixed traditional script. They tend to be conversational, specific to your relationship, and often mix humor with heartfelt honesty, the way you'd actually talk to your partner instead of reciting a formal declaration.

How do you write modern wedding vows?

Write the way you talk. Say why you chose your partner, tell one real story that captures them, and make a few honest promises for everyday life. Keep it specific, the small only-you details land harder than grand statements, then read it aloud and cut anything that sounds borrowed or makes you cringe. Our free tool can turn your answers into a heartfelt first draft.

What's the difference between modern and traditional wedding vows?

Traditional vows are a set script ("to have and to hold, till death do us part") that everyone recognizes and usually runs under thirty seconds. Modern vows are your own words, personal, specific, and conversational, and usually run a minute or two. Many couples blend the two: a familiar traditional line plus their own personal promises.

Do modern wedding vows have to be non-religious?

Not at all. "Modern" is about voice and style, personal and contemporary, not about faith. You can absolutely include your beliefs, a blessing, or a meaningful verse in modern vows; the difference is that you say it in your own words rather than following a fixed liturgy.

How long should modern wedding vows be?

About a minute spoken aloud, roughly 150 to 250 words. Long enough to say something real, short enough to keep the room with you. If you're well over, you're probably telling your whole history, pick a few true moments instead.

Can modern wedding vows still be romantic?

Absolutely. Modern doesn't mean cynical or all jokes. The best modern vows earn a laugh and then land a line that brings tears, the humor makes the tender part hit even harder. Specific and honest is the most romantic thing you can be.

What makes wedding vows modern?

Traditional vows are a script everyone already knows. Modern vows are the opposite: your words, in your voice, about your actual relationship. There's no fixed wording to follow, which is exactly what makes them feel personal, and, honestly, a little more nerve-wracking to write.

Modern doesn't mean unromantic or irreverent. It means contemporary and personal: conversational instead of formal, specific instead of generic, true to the two of you instead of borrowed from a prayer book. Some modern vows are funny, some are tender, the best ones are both.

How to write modern wedding vows

Start with how you actually talk to each other, not how you think vows are supposed to sound. Say why you chose them, tell one real story that proves it, and make a few promises you'll actually keep. Then read it out loud: if a line makes you cringe to say, cut it.

The modern move is specificity. Not "you're my best friend," but the ordinary Tuesday you knew. Not "I'll always love you," but "I'll always let you pick the movie and pretend I didn't want to." For the full method, our step-by-step guide to writing wedding vows takes you from blank page to final draft.

Modern vs. Traditional wedding vows

The clearest difference is the language. Traditional vows follow a fixed, centuries-old script ("to have and to hold, till death do us part"), while modern vows make the same commitment in plain, present-day words, the way you actually talk. Think "I promise to support you" instead of "I thee endow," or "I'll choose you every day" instead of "forsaking all others."

Traditional vows are recognizable and quick, about thirty seconds everyone knows by heart. Modern vows are personal and specific, usually a minute or two that sounds like a real conversation. Neither is better, they're just different tools for the same promise. Plenty of couples blend the two, keeping a familiar line like "to have and to hold" and adding their own words around it. If you want a classic script to build on, our traditional wedding vows give you the wording, and the examples on this page show what it looks like to write your own from scratch.

Common mistakes in modern vows

A few traps sink otherwise lovely modern vows: inside jokes only the two of you understand (the room feels locked out), trying so hard to sound casual that nothing actually lands, and going on too long. Aim for about a minute, roughly 150 to 250 words, and keep our short wedding vows in mind if you tend to ramble.

And modern doesn't mean you can't be sincere. The best ones earn a laugh, then turn and land something true. Say the honest thing you'd usually be too shy to say out loud, that's the line they'll remember.

Explore more wedding vows

Every style in one place, browse by tone, tradition, or who's speaking.

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