Best man speech examples that don't sound copied

My brother Kevin has been banned from two bowling alleys.

The first time, he was eleven, and he tried to bowl two balls at once to save time. The second time, he was twenty-six. We don't talk about the second time.

I'm Matt, Kevin's little brother, and tonight I get to say whatever I want while he sits there and smiles, which has never happened before in my life.

Growing up, Kevin was always in a hurry. Two balls at once, two stairs at a time, homework finished on the bus. But the summer I was nine and scared of the deep end, he spent every single day with me in the shallow end while his friends were off the diving board. He never once hurried me.

Alyssa, you've slowed him down too. The first time I came over for dinner, Kevin served chili he'd been cooking for eight hours, in a slow cooker you bought him. He waited eight hours for something. I didn't know he could do that.

Kevin, you taught me to swim by not rushing me. It's good to see you take your time with something.

Please raise your glasses to Kevin and Alyssa. And if anyone brought bowling shoes, please don't give them to Kevin.

For one whole semester, somebody in our dorm was eating my food, and I spent four months trying to catch him.

I labeled everything. I hid my yogurt behind the broccoli. One night I wrote "POISONED" on a container of leftover lasagna, and the next morning it was empty. And washed.

It was Josh. Of course it was Josh. I'm Dev, I was his roommate for three years, and he's been my best friend since the day he finally confessed, at graduation, in front of both our parents.

What I didn't know back then was that Josh was working two jobs to pay his tuition and living on whatever was in that fridge. When he confessed, he also handed me an envelope with forty dollars in it and a list of everything he'd eaten, with dates. He'd kept track the whole time.

That's Josh. He'll take your lasagna, but he always pays you back.

Rachel, the first time I came to your place for dinner, Josh cooked. An actual meal, from a recipe, with a salad nobody asked for. He told me you'd been teaching him on Sundays. Josh, I've known you for twelve years, and that was the first food of yours I've ever eaten.

Please raise your glasses to Rachel and Josh. Josh, I'm still waiting on the interest.

The morning after my dad moved out, Danny knocked on our door at seven a.m. holding a basketball.

We were twelve. He didn't say anything about my dad. He just said, "You coming?" and we played in his driveway until it got dark. He came back the next morning, and the one after that, all summer. I'm Andre, and I've been Danny's best friend for twenty-two years, but that summer is the reason why.

Danny has never been good with words. You'll notice he asked me to give this speech, not the other way around. But he has always been good at showing up. When I moved to Denver for a job and didn't know anyone, he drove eleven hours to help me carry a couch up four flights of stairs, then drove eleven hours home. When my son was born, he got to the hospital before my own mother. She's still upset about it.

When we were sixteen, he spent a whole winter teaching me to drive in his mom's minivan, because my dad wasn't around to do it. He never raised his voice once, not even when I backed into his mailbox. He fixed the mailbox himself and told his mom it was the wind.

Megan, Danny told me about you the way he tells me anything important: in the driveway, holding a basketball, not looking at me. He said, "I think this is it." That was the whole conversation.

The first time Danny's truck broke down, you didn't call to ask if he was okay. You showed up with jumper cables and two coffees. He called me that night and said, "She just came." I've known him for twenty-two years, and I've never heard him sound so surprised.

Please stand and raise your glasses to Danny and Megan. Danny, you coming?

Tyler asked me to be his best man by text. The whole text said, "u in?"

No capital letters. No context. I thought he was asking about fantasy football. I said, "Only if I get first pick," and he said, "Sure." So technically, I'm here tonight on a fantasy football trade.

I'm Nate. Tyler and I have worked at the same garage for nine years, and in nine years I've learned that the more something matters to Tyler, the fewer words he uses. When his dog died, he texted me one word. When he got promoted, he sent a thumbs up.

When he met Sofia, he texted me a paragraph.

It was three in the morning. It had punctuation. It had the word "honestly" in it, twice. I'm not going to read it to you, because he'd never speak to me again, but I'll tell you how it ended: "I think she's the one, don't be weird about it."

Sofia, the first time I met you, you asked Tyler a question and then waited, all the way through the silence, until he answered. Most people fill it in for him. You didn't.

Tyler, I'm in.

Everyone, please raise your glasses to Sofia and Tyler.

I made a slideshow for tonight. Forty-one slides. Adam's mom saw it on Tuesday and made me promise I wouldn't show it.

So I'll just tell you the titles. Slide four: "The Mullet Years." Slide twelve: "Adam Explains Crypto to Our Uncle." Slide nineteen is a video of him trying to parallel park, and it's eleven minutes long.

I'm Pete, Adam's best friend since middle school, and I'm the reason most of those photos exist.

Mrs. Walsh let me keep one slide. It's the last one. It's a photo I took by accident at a barbecue two summers ago. Adam is at the grill, and he's supposed to be watching the burgers, but he's not looking at the burgers. He's looking at Leah, across the yard, laughing at something. I know he'd forgotten the burgers, because they burned.

Leah, you've done something I've never seen anyone else manage. You got Adam to leave a party early. He texted the group chat, "heading out, Leah's tired," and not one of us believed it was him.

That photo's going in a frame, and I'm giving it to you both tonight. The other forty slides are going in a drawer. I'm keeping the drawer.

Please raise your glasses to Adam and Leah.

Hi everyone, I'm Luke, Ryan's best man. Ryan asked me to keep this under a minute, so I've timed it, and I'm already six seconds in.

Ryan, you've been my best friend since we were seven, and in all that time you've asked me for two things: to help you move, three times, and to stand up here today.

Kayla, the night Ryan met you, he called me and talked for an hour. Ryan does not talk for an hour. I knew right then.

To Kayla and Ryan. Fifty-eight seconds. You're welcome.