Wedding Wiz

Secular Wedding Vows
54 Examples & Templates

No scripture, no script, just the two of you and what you actually promise. Here's how couples do it, plain and modern and theirs.

Read the examplesWrite secular vows for me

Secular wedding vows

A whole year of silence, then this humming

I remember sitting in class beside you for an entire year before either of us said a word. It feels kind of funny looking back because here we are, standing together now, after all those quiet moments. I love how you have this quiet strength that shows up in the little things, like how you hum without even realizing it while you’re cooking. It’s one of those small details that somehow makes any ordinary day better. I think one of my favorite memories is the first time you met my family. You had them laughing within ten minutes, and in that moment, I realized just how wonderful you are at making people feel at ease, how naturally kind and warm you are. That’s just the kind of person you are, and it’s one of the many reasons I love you. When I look at you, I don’t just see who you are today, but who we can be together. I know that life will throw challenges our way, but I promise to always trust you and to never stop being your partner through it all. I promise to hold on to the promises you make, even the tiny ones, because those are the things that build the foundation of us. I promise to listen, to learn, and to grow alongside you instead of away from you. Let’s keep seeking adventure in the everyday and in the unknown, pushing each other to be better, to laugh more, and to love deeply. I vow to be honest, to be open, and to always show up fully, even when it’s hard. With you, I feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, and I can’t wait to keep building this life together. This is my promise to you today and every day after.

Down-to-earthFor himLong
Use as template

He brought dinner and skipped the questions entirely

I want to start by thanking you for showing up that night when everything felt like it was falling apart. You walked in with dinner and didn’t ask a single question. You just made the hard day easier simply by being there. That moment showed me so much about who you are, kind, steady, and fully present. It’s one of the many reasons I love you. Growing up two streets apart, I never would have guessed our paths would cross the way they did years later. But here we are, standing together, ready to build a life based on the trust and partnership that’s grown between us. You have this way of making the tough days smaller just by walking into the room. You notice when I need silence, and you know when I need to feel close. That kind of understanding is rare, and it means everything to me. I promise to be the one who reaches out first after a fight, even when it’s hard. I promise to always listen closely and to try to understand before trying to be understood. I promise to stand by you as a true partner, sharing the weight of life’s challenges, celebrating the victories, and seeking adventure together. I vow to keep exploring the world with you, not just in places, but in the quiet moments and the ordinary days. I promise to trust in us and in the love we’re building every day. I choose you, Adam, for all the days ahead, on the easy ones and the difficult ones. I promise to hold your heart gently, to laugh with you often, and to be your safe place. This is my promise to you, now and always.

HeartfeltFor himLong
Use as template

Defending terrible playlists like championship teams, till closing time

Samuel, I’m making you a promise right here, I will always protect your quiet mornings, even when I’m tempted to drag you out of bed for some spontaneous adventure. I will defend your terrible playlists with the kind of enthusiasm usually reserved for championship teams, because they’re part of what makes you, you. I still remember the first time we met, when a single coffee turned into us sitting there until the café closed, as if time forgot itself. That night was the start of a partnership I never knew I needed. And the quiet Sunday we spent doing absolutely nothing? It might not sound like much, but for me, that day remains one of my favorite adventures because it was with you. I love how you laugh at your own jokes before you even finish telling them, how you remember every friend’s coffee order like it’s some kind of superpower, and how you never fail to make me feel seen in the simplest of ways. You’ve taught me that true partnership is about trust, about knowing someone’s intentions without wonder, about both of us showing up for each other in the big moments and the small ones. So, I promise to be your partner in all things, whether we’re navigating unknown cities or just figuring out what’s for dinner. I promise to listen, to hold space for all the parts of you, even the silly and the serious. I will encourage your dreams and challenge you to grow, because that’s what love should do. And, above all, I promise to keep showing up, even when life doesn’t feel like a perfectly brewed coffee or a quiet Sunday, but a whirlwind. Because with you, even chaos feels like home.

PlayfulFor himLong
Use as template

The late train that led to forever

I promise to remember the slow, patient moments we shared waiting for a train that never came on time, a forgotten departure now the start of everything. In you, I found a voice that welcomed my silence and a laugh that filled the empty spaces between words, a lightness that carried me through days I thought were too heavy to bear. When I was sick, you stayed by my side without complaint, turning care into an act of love so natural it felt like breathing. You never once made me feel like a burden, and in that quiet strength, I saw the true depth of your heart. It’s in those moments, both gentle and profound, that I found a partner I want to walk with for all my days. I love how you check on me before you check your phone, how your laughter finds me even before the punchline lands. You live in a way that makes ordinary moments shimmer, and you invite me to do the same. Together, we have built a trust that feels like home, and a partnership that promises adventure as much as it offers comfort. Today, I vow to keep choosing you on ordinary Tuesdays just as fiercely as on the days the world turns bright and new. I promise to show up not only in joy but in challenge, to listen without waiting to speak, and to offer my hand when you need steady ground. I will be the place where your dreams are safe and where your fears find understanding. With you, I commit to a life that is both honest and daring, grounded in trust and lifted by the spirit of adventure. I choose you today and every day, in laughter and in quiet, in the rhythms of normal life and the leaps into the unknown. This is my promise to you, my love, my partner, my home.

PoeticFor himLong
Use as template

Two strangers hiding at a wedding, forever found

I want to start with that afternoon at our friend’s wedding, when we both escaped the buzz of small talk to hide behind the same table. That moment, quiet and unexpected, felt like the start of something true. Since then, you have become my steady anchor and my greatest adventure, all at once. I think back to that day when everything went wrong, the details still vivid but somehow soaked in laughter now. You didn’t just keep calm, you made a story out of the chaos, one we both love to revisit. That memory tells me who you are, someone who chooses joy, who faces the world with patience and humor. What I love most about you is often quiet, almost invisible to others. The way you remember everyone’s coffee order like it’s the most important thing. How you steady me when my thoughts race out of control, never once making me feel less because of it. That kind of love, steady and kind, is rare and precious. Today, I promise to be your partner in every sense of the word. To build a foundation of trust where we can both be ourselves, completely and without fear. I promise to embrace every adventure with you, from the wildest dreams to the slowest Sunday mornings. And when time makes us old and maybe a little slow, I promise I will still be reaching for your hand, just like I am now, because nothing feels more like home. I vow to laugh with you, to listen deeply, and to hold space for all the parts of you, the strong and the fragile, the quiet moments and the stormy ones. Together, we’ll write our own story, a partnership filled with respect, love, and endless curiosity about what comes next. With you, I choose a lifetime of friendship, passion, and unwavering support. I am so grateful to walk this path by your side.

RomanticFor himLong
Use as template

Locked out that night, never locked out again

I want to start by painting a small picture I hold close, the night we were both locked out. Two neighbors who barely knew each other, suddenly sharing that unexpected pause in our routines. In that moment, something shifted. That ordinary evening, the one where I looked over at you and sensed without a doubt it was you, everything else seemed to fall away. It was simple, quiet, and completely real. There is something deeply spiritual in the way you move through the world. The way you hum softly while you cook, without even noticing, fills the space around you with warmth. The way you come home after a long day, and just your presence makes everything feel a little lighter. On the hardest days, you make the world smaller, safer, like I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. I want to promise to meet you like I did that night, open, curious, and ready for whatever comes next. I promise to listen all the way to the end, really hear you, before I try to fix anything. Because I know some things need space to be felt, and sometimes the best gift I can offer is simply my attention. I vow to build with you a partnership rooted in trust, where both of us can be fully ourselves, each a safe harbor and a fierce champion. I want to share in the adventure of our lives, embracing the unknown with confidence because I’ll have you by my side. This is my promise, to journey with you, to hold your hand through every ordinary and extraordinary moment, and to keep choosing you every single day. Not just as my neighbor or my love, but as my closest friend, my family, my home.

SpiritualFor himLong
Use as template

Vowing quiet mornings, terrible playlists, and full attention

I promise to always protect your quiet mornings, those moments that mean so much to you, even if it means being extra quiet while you find your calm. I vow to defend your terrible playlists with the same enthusiasm you have when you share them, because little things like that are part of who you are, and I love all of it. I will stand by you when life feels uncertain, just like you steady me when I spiral, never judging, always patient. I want you to know that you can always count on me, through the calm days and the messy ones. I promise to build our life on trust, to be honest and open, and to listen even when it’s hard. I still think about that quiet Sunday we spent doing nothing together. It was simple, ordinary, but somehow it was perfect. It showed me that adventure isn’t always about big plans or wild trips; sometimes, it’s just sharing space and being fully present with each other. I look forward to all the adventures ahead, the big ones and the small ones, because with you, every moment feels meaningful. I promise to be your partner in every way, to share in the laughter and the silence, to support you and to grow with you. Today, in front of everyone here, I choose you, and I choose us, and I can’t wait to see where this journey takes us.

Down-to-earthFor himMedium
Use as template

Elbow-deep in a project, and in love

I promise to always remember that day we were elbow-deep in a project we didn’t know how to do, learning and figuring things out together. That moment showed me how much I can rely on you, how we become stronger when we face challenges side by side. I love the way you check on me before checking your phone, how you make me feel seen and valued every single day. I will carry with me the memory of our road trip when the car broke down and we laughed until we could finally get moving again. It wasn’t just about fixing the car, it was about the joy in being together, the adventure even when things don’t go as planned. That day reminded me that with you, every part of the journey becomes something to cherish. I promise to build with you a home that is a safe place, where you always feel free to be exactly who you are, without hesitation or fear. I vow to nurture trust between us, to listen deeply, and to walk alongside you not just in the easy moments, but through the ones that will test us. I want to be your partner in every sense of the word, sharing laughter, kindness, and all the unexpected paths life offers. More than anything, I choose you, Marcus, today and every day, for a lifetime of adventure and love that feels like coming home.

HeartfeltFor himMedium
Use as template

Oil, water, and a 2am kitchen song

Nathan, I promise to always remember the look on our friend’s face when they sat us next to each other, convinced we'd clash like oil and water. Instead, we found rhythm in the chaos, like when we danced in the kitchen at two in the morning to that song only we think is good, no one else was invited to that party, but it’s our secret forever. I love how you keep your promises, even the small ones that might seem invisible to others, because it shows me your heart in action every day. That kind of trust is the foundation I want to build on. I vow to be your partner for all the adventures life throws at us, whether it’s conquering mountains or getting lost on purpose. When things get tough, I promise to keep making you laugh, even when I’m trying my hardest to stay mad. Because let’s be honest, laughter is our secret weapon. I will stand beside you with honesty and respect, and I’ll always make room for us to grow, together. In this partnership, I vow to listen deeply, to support your dreams as if they were my own, and to celebrate the quirks and moments that make us uniquely us. I choose you, not just because of who you are now, but because of who I know we will become. And in every quiet or noisy moment, I promise to be your favorite dance partner, on and off the kitchen floor.

PlayfulFor himMedium
Use as template

Two streets apart, a lifetime to arrive here

I promise to treasure the quiet moments between us, like the night everything else fell away and you showed up at my door with dinner and no questions asked. In that simple act, you showed me what true partnership means. You’ve always been the one who notices the last bite on my plate and leaves it for me, a small kindness that speaks volumes about your care and thoughtfulness. I love you not just for who you are, but for how you make me feel safe, understood, and seen. Even though we grew up just two streets apart, it took a lifetime for our paths to cross, and now that they have, I will never take this connection for granted. I promise to be the one who reaches out first after a fight, to choose trust over silence, and to cherish our journey, even when it’s messy or uncertain. I vow to build with you a life full of adventure and curiosity, knowing that the greatest discovery is learning and growing together. I will stand beside you as your equal, your partner in all the ways that matter most. I vow to celebrate your strengths, hold space for your doubts, and love you with both passion and patience. In this life we are weaving, I promise to be present, to listen deeply, and to love you more every single day. This is my promise to you, now and always.

PoeticFor himMedium
Use as template

The humming that turned a year of silence into forever

I promise to always notice the little things about you, like the way you hum quietly while you cook, a small song that fills our home with warmth and life. I vow to cherish the way you bring light and laughter to every room, just like that first time you met my family and had them laughing within ten minutes. I promise to be your partner in every sense, to build a life where trust is the foundation and adventure is always just around the corner. I will stand by you when things are easy and when they are hard. I will grow alongside you, never away from you, committed to learning, changing, and evolving together. I promise to listen with an open heart and speak with honesty, to be your safe place and your biggest fan. I will celebrate your triumphs and support you through challenges, knowing that together we are stronger. I love that it took us a whole year of silence before we found the courage to speak, because it means every word since has been filled with meaning. I vow to keep choosing you every day, to build a partnership rooted in trust and filled with joy and curiosity. I look forward to every new adventure with you, knowing that the best part is simply walking through life side by side. This is my promise to you, now and always.

RomanticFor himMedium
Use as template

Two wedding-crashers who fell in love hiding

I remember that moment at the wedding, hiding from the small talk by the same table, and how effortlessly you became the person I wanted to be with. It’s funny to think that on a day meant for celebration, we found a quiet corner and started something real. From that moment, everything shifted in a way I hadn’t expected. One of my favorite memories is the day everything went wrong, the plans unraveling, the chaos swirling around us. But you didn’t just handle it; you turned it into a story we still tell, laughing and shaking our heads at how we made it through together. That day showed me so much about how you face life, and it made me want to face every challenge at your side. I love how you text me the second you get home safe. It’s a small thing, but it means the world, it tells me you’re thinking of me, that you want me to know you’re okay. That simple act is trust in action, a reminder that we are partners in this journey, looking out for each other every step of the way. Today, I promise to keep reaching for your hand, no matter where life takes us. I promise to honor our trust and nurture it like the foundation it is. I promise to be your partner in all things, ready for every adventure, every quiet moment, every unexpected twist. I choose you today and every day, to build a life full of love, laughter, and endless curiosity. And I vow to still be reaching for your hand when we’re old and slow, finding new ways to love you as time goes on.

SpiritualFor himMedium
Use as template

Two a.m. kitchen dances, and every quiet morning after

I promise to keep dancing with you, whether it’s in the kitchen at two in the morning or in whatever unexpected moments come our way. I love how you make the hard days smaller just by walking in the room, and I want to be that person for you too. I vow to be your partner in every sense, to build a foundation of trust that we can rely on no matter what life throws at us. When we face challenges, I promise to stand beside you, not in front or behind, sharing every step of the adventure. I will make you laugh, especially when it feels hardest to find joy, even if it means being silly when I’m trying to stay mad. You are my person, the one I choose every day, and I commit to growing with you, learning with you, and loving you without hesitation or doubt. This is my promise to you: to be present, to be honest, and to be all in, through every late-night kitchen dance and every quiet morning that follows.

Down-to-earthFor himShort
Use as template

The last bite, saved even unwatched

Noah, I remember that quiet evening when I looked over at you and just knew, without a doubt, that you were the one I wanted by my side. It wasn’t anything grand or dramatic, just the simple, perfect moment of feeling home. I love how you always leave me the last bite, even when no one’s watching, because it’s in those little acts that I see your kindness and thoughtfulness every day. Today, I promise to listen to you completely, to hear you out before I try to fix anything. I want to build a partnership where trust is our foundation, where we’re equal teammates in every challenge and every joy. I vow to seek adventure with you, not just in far-off places, but in our everyday lives, by cherishing the small moments and growing together. I promise to hold your hand through whatever comes our way, with honesty, patience, and a whole lot of love. You are my chosen person, and I am so grateful to call you mine.

HeartfeltFor himShort
Use as template

The vow that turns sick week into forever

Leo, I promise to remember the week I was sick and you somehow made me feel cared for, not a burden. That’s the kind of love I want every day, steady, patient, and kind. You are my calm when my mind races, the person who grounds me without ever making me feel less for spiraling. I love that about you more than words can say. Today, in front of all these people, I vow to keep choosing you. Not just on the big, shiny days, but on ordinary Tuesdays, when life feels routine or messy. I promise to trust you, to be your partner in all the adventures we haven’t dreamed up yet, and to build a life where laughter is daily and support is endless. I can’t wait for all the small moments and the wild ones, the quiet mornings and the spontaneous road trips. I stand here excited to be your teammate, your biggest fan, and the one who always believes in us. So here’s to a lifetime of choosing you, every day, no matter what.

PlayfulFor himShort
Use as template

The car broke down, our spirits never did

I promise to hold space for all the parts of you, the quiet and the wild, the certain and the unsure. I vow to build with you a home where laughter echoes like it did on that endless road trip, where the car broke down, but our spirits never did. I will carry with me the memory of that day, how we found joy in the unexpected, and I will forever seek adventure by your side. I love that you know the small things, like every friend’s coffee order, because it shows how deeply you pay attention, how much you care. I promise to listen that way, to notice the details that make you who you are and to cherish them every day. Together, we will create a partnership built on trust, where you can always be exactly yourself without fear. Today, I choose you as my teammate, my confidant, my home. I will nurture this love, hold it gently, and tend to it with the commitment and tenderness it deserves, in every step we take forward together.

PoeticFor himShort
Use as template

The best day of the year: nothing

James, I promise to always cherish the quiet moments with you, like that Sunday we spent doing absolutely nothing but still made it the best day of the year. I love how you text me the second you get home safe, and I vow to always care for your peace of mind in the same way. I promise to protect your quiet mornings, knowing how much they mean to you, and to stand by you even when your playlists test my patience. I commit to building a partnership based on trust, where we can share our dreams and face every adventure together. I vow to be your friend, your biggest supporter, and your home when the world feels overwhelming. Whatever life throws our way, I’ll be there, ready to laugh, to listen, and to love you with all my heart. Today, I give you all of me, without reservation, now and always.

RomanticFor himShort
Use as template

The room he warmed in minutes, for a lifetime

Julian, I promise to honor and cherish the way you hold space for me, knowing exactly when to give me quiet and when to draw me near. I remember that day you met my family, how effortlessly you filled the room with laughter and warmth in just minutes. That moment showed me the heart and kindness you carry, and I carry it with me now. I vow to grow alongside you, not away from you, embracing every twist and turn life brings as our shared adventure. I will trust you, even when the path is unclear, because I know that partnership means standing together through everything. I promise to listen deeply, to speak honestly, and to meet you with an open heart in all things. With you, I find a space where I am truly seen, where love means choosing each other every day. I look forward to building a life rich in joy, trust, and discovery, hand in hand, heart to heart. This is my promise to you, now and always.

SpiritualFor himShort
Use as template

A whole year, then one hum in the kitchen

Naomi, today I promise to always be willing to take that first step, even if it feels a little scary, just like when we finally talked after a whole year in the same class. I’ll always be grateful for the way you made my family laugh so easily, like it was exactly what we needed, and that moment showed me just how naturally you fit into my world. I love the little things about you, the way you keep your promises, no matter how small, and that hum you do without even realizing it while you’re cooking dinner. It’s in those moments, the everyday ones, that I see the kind of person you are and why I want to spend my life with you. I promise to grow alongside you, not away from you. Life will have its challenges and changes, and I want to meet those with you, hand in hand. I promise to be your partner in all things, you and me, tackling whatever comes our way together. I promise to build a foundation of trust that can hold us steady, and to be someone you can rely on completely. Our adventure isn’t about epic journeys; it’s about the day-to-day moments that become memories. Whether it’s a quiet night in or a spontaneous trip, I promise to be present, to listen, to laugh, and to keep choosing you every day. I’m here because you make the ordinary feel extraordinary, and because I believe that, no matter what, we’ll always be stronger together. So today, I give you all of me, ready for whatever comes next, with all my love and my commitment to you.

Down-to-earthFor herLong
Use as template

The vow that shows up with dinner, no questions

I want to start by promising you something simple but important. I will be the one who reaches out first after a fight. Because I know that what we have is stronger than any disagreement, and I want us to always be the team that comes back together. I remember that night when all my plans fell apart, and you showed up at my door with dinner and no questions asked. That moment showed me who you are, someone who cares deeply, without putting any pressure or expectation on me. It was pure kindness, and it still means the world to me. That’s the kind of love I want to build with you every day. You make the hard days feel smaller just by walking in the room. You have this way of knowing exactly when I need space and when I need you closer, without me having to say a word. That kind of understanding is rare, and I promise to always listen to you that way. To be attuned to your needs and to hold your heart gently, even when life gets messy. Growing up just two streets apart, it feels like the universe was saving us for this moment. Finding you later, when we were both ready, feels like something worth holding on to forever. I promise to build a partnership with you, one based on trust, honesty, and a shared sense of adventure. I want to explore the world with you, not just the beautiful places, but every challenge, every joy, and every day in between. Thank you for being my steady in the chaos and my partner in all this life throws at us. I love you, Ava, and I am so excited for everything we will discover together.

HeartfeltFor herLong
Use as template
Use as my template

Want secular vows in your own words?

The Vows Writer keeps the secular style and weaves in your story. Free.

Tone:Secular

First question

I’m writing vows as the…

Next

Continues in the full step-by-step writer

Tips for secular vows

Before you write
  • Skip the borrowed poetry and the "till death do us part." Secular vows are strongest in plain, modern language, say it the way you'd say it to their face.
  • Replace divine promises with human ones. Not "with God as my witness" but "with everyone we love as our witnesses", let the room and the relationship carry the weight.
  • Make specificity your ritual. Without scripture, the sacred thing is the detail: the real story, the exact habit, the promise only you would make.
  • Give it a shape: one story, a few honest promises, a line about the future. Structure is what keeps a non-religious vow from wandering.
Want to write your own from scratch? Step-by-step guide

Common questions

What are secular wedding vows?

Secular wedding vows are non-religious, they leave out scripture, prayer, and references to God, and instead center your relationship, your story, and personal promises. They're common at civil ceremonies, humanist weddings, and any celebration that isn't built around a faith tradition.

How do you write secular wedding vows?

Write in your own plain voice: open with why you chose your partner, tell one real story, and make a few concrete promises for everyday life. Where a religious vow would invoke the divine, invoke the specific instead, the details only you two share. Our free tool can turn your answers into a first draft in minutes.

What can I use instead of religious language?

Let your community and your relationship carry the weight scripture usually holds: "in front of everyone we love," "for as long as we both keep choosing this." Nature, time, home, and the witnesses in the room all make grounded, meaningful substitutes for divine references.

Are secular vows appropriate for a religious family?

They can be. Secular vows don't reject anyone's beliefs; they simply speak in universal, human terms about love and commitment, which most families connect with regardless of faith. If it matters, you can still nod to shared values, gratitude, family, forever, without invoking a specific religion.

How long should secular wedding vows be?

About a minute, roughly 150 to 200 words. Long enough for one real story and a few promises, short enough to keep the ceremony moving. Read it aloud and cut anything that sounds like filler.

Explore more wedding vows

Every style in one place, browse by tone, tradition, or who's speaking.

Catholic54Christian9Funny56Short109Wedding Vow Renewal21Traditional12for Her90for Him90Short for Him30Funny for Him15Romantic for Him15
Browse all wedding vows